Since Pope Benedict has been in the news lately for his visit to the States, I thought it might be a good time to write a little retrospective on someone who should be prominently on his radar.

Did you know that it’s been six years since the greatest R&B singer of the last twenty years was indicted on 14 counts of child pornography and having sex with a minor? Next month, at long last, his trial begins and I have to believe that his continued success probably makes his defense stronger. Has anyone ever accomplished more after child porn charges? Since he was indicted, R. Kelly has released no fewer than eight albums, including Chocolate Factory and Double Up, which featured the unimaginable “Sex Planet.” And who can ever, ever forget those “Trapped In The Closet” videos volumes 1-1837?

What’s even more amazing is that despite the child sex allegations, people still looked to R. Kelly to inspire and touch hearts. There was “Rise Up,” the Virginia Tech memorial single. I would have thought the kids on campus might be a little old for Kells, but nothing could seem more appropriate after a school shooting than to have Kells serenade 18 and 19 year old Hokies. Kells was even confirmed to be on a charity single entitled “I Have This Dream,” with singer Michael Jackson to pay tribute to Hurricane Katrina victims. Michael Jackson?! Thirty years from now, R. Kelly and Michael Jackson will be having poker nights at Neverland Bahrain with Gary Glitter and Pete Townshend like Hugh Hefner, Eliot Gould, Bill Maher, and Alan Alda. Why don’t they just throw a tribute concert in the Superdome and call it Child Aid?

So let me extend a tribute to Robert Sylvester Kelly as he once again returns to the news to allegedly engaging in multiple sex acts with a 14/18 year old (if she wasn’t 18 then, she sure is now). Oh, and perhaps more importantly, his new album “Hair Braider” comes out this week. You can text your hair braid cell phone pic to 66555 to enter the “Hair Braider” contest and receive the official “Hair Braider” ringtone.

For Those Who Thought Nixon Was Dead, He’s Still a Commentator on CNN

Another week, another example of the continuing decline of televised journalism. Katie Couric’s probably out at CBS and Jack Cafferty of CNN whips this piece of inverted pyramid on air:

“We continue to import their junk with the lead paint on them and the poisoned pet food and export, you know, jobs to places where you can pay workers a dollar a month to turn out the stuff that we’re buying from Wal-Mart. So I think our relationship with China has certainly changed. I think they’re basically the same bunch of goons and thugs they’ve been for the last 50 years.”

How does a commentator so poorly informed find his way on the air in the first place? I believe I was watching Cafferty’s idiotic comments on a lead poisoned piece of junk television that was, you guessed it, made in China. That tie he’s wearing in that photo was probably made in China. The caps on his fake teeth were probably made in China. Is it too much to ask that television commentators be well-informed on world affairs before opening their mouths?

A few years ago, when Lou Dobbs went from Moneyline Lou Dobbs to Patriot Act Lou Dobbs, I thought he was just trying to out O’Reilly Bill O’Reilly. After all, even Fox only had one pulpit bully, maybe two if you counted Sean Hannity. But now, every CNN commentator is trying to out-Lou-Dobbs Lou Dobbs. There’s Rick Sanchez, now there’s Jack Cafferty on “American Morning.” If you were like me and you remember when you used to look CNN for “journalism,” you can’t help but be disappointed at the proponderance of ignoramuses with clip-on mikes.

I say enough is enough. Forget about firing Cafferty, as some Chinese-Americans are picketing for. Let’s fire television “journalism.” Hand 6pm on CBS over to an extra hour of “Survivor” or “How I Met Your Mother.” Put on syndicated re-runs of “Pros v. Joes” instead of Larry King. I’ll just cobble my news on the Internet and places like Is Greater Than and laugh about it on Comedy Central.