26 Jan 2009, Written by Paul M Davis in music
HOWTO: Go on Tour
The romantic allure of touring is well-documented, but rarely reflects reality. Embarking on your first tour is bound to be a thankless task, full of equipment failure, indifferent or nonexistent audiences, sleeplessness, bad food, and interpersonal annoyances. Even the most reliable band in-jokes become grating after weeks or months in the same vehicle together. When crisis hits–your van’s transmission dies on a rural thoroughfare, for example–the merits of the singer’s lyrics or the guitarist’s chops become irrelevant. No longer are your bandmates judged on their musical ability–instead, it’s a question of how they handle crisis.
For the past five years, Pete Bernhard has been touring with his punk-influenced string band The Devil Makes Three, and has learned many of these lessons the hard way. He spoke with Is Greater Than about what he wished he had known before heading out on the road the very first time.
What were some of your misconceptions about what touring would be like? How does it differ from what you envisioned?
Touring turned out to be way more work than I anticipated and I had to learn to take care of myself in order to finish a tour and not feel like a walking corpse. I think movies like “Almost Famous” and other band movies have led people to believe that between partying in the limo and doing tons of coke you can always somehow find time to get laid by some a beautiful stranger and that’s what playing music is all about “man”. That has not been my experience but then again I may just be in the wrong band. If you’re going to be in a DIY situation you might as well put those kinds of things out of your mind for a while. I never thought touring would be easy but it is hard in ways I never thought it would be.
You can’t expect people to do everything for you. For example, the promotion ball often gets dropped. To be a touring musician with no backing you need to be a lot of things: a booking agent, a business person, promoter and a mediator all while performing and writing songs.
What tricks have you found to ensure band harmony while on the road?
The biggest and most important lesson lest we all end up like Metallica and get a group therapist (I’ll die first) is to communicate with your bandmates. If you can’t talk to them and you secretly hate them, trust me–its no secret in a cargo van. There are no secrets in such close quarters and the more you can be honest with everyone the longer you will last and the more fun you will have.
What are four things you wish somebody had told you before you went out on tour? What did you have to learn the hard way?
The first thing I wish I had known is that you don’t need to play clubs when no one knows who you are yet. Play house shows and have fun. Empty clubs kill band morale and just generally slowly suck the life from your soul. Even a bad house show is still just a party.
I wish someone had told me to listen to criticism and ask for some help along the way. Trying to do everything your self is a form of torture and sadly I didn’t know everything it turns out. Come to think of it I did hear this advice along the way and I didn’t listen, so there you have it.
I also could have used some advice about being honest concerning what you want out of the band or project. People usually have goals or limitations and the sooner you know this the easier it is for everyone. If the drummer wants to be a rock star but the lead singer wants to work at the comic book shop and live in his moms basement then maybe its not going to work out?
Last but not least, it is worth spending money to keep yourself sane. Always cutting corners and sleeping on the ground will catch up with you quick and end your tours before you finish the all the dates.
Truth be told, all of this was learned “the hard way”. We did everything wrong before learning to do it right and the main ingredient to making it work is not giving up.
What are the most useful/important things a band heading out on the road would need?
Money! Prepare to not make any and you will be happy if you do. On your first tour you will be lucky to make gas money and eat dry ramen noodles. Everyone in the DIY community seems to hate the mention of money but it really can be quite useful in a pinch.
Your van breaks down in bumfuck nowhere. How should you have planned for this possibility and what’s the first thing you do?
This is where you can get out of the car and start screaming, crying and throwing around instruments and kicking inanimate objects to really show the world how hard your life is! I have tried this method and seen others use it the outcome is always the same. It won’t change anything, everyone in attendance thinks you’re an asshole and you’re still stuck on the side of the road. God is not torturing you–god doesn’t care about you that much. Breaking down is just part of touring and having a reliable vehicle and a road side assistance plan (get AAA) to fall back on is all you can really hope for. Again skimping on your van is like moving into a cardboard box because it’s cheaper than your apartment. You have to live in the thing sometimes, so why not save up a bit more cash?
Any other bits of hard-earned wisdom?
The only other thing I can think to say to aspiring musicians is: don’t be a dick and people will like you more. It sounds so simple and yet some people never figure it out. If you show up when you are supposed to and treat the people putting on the show and doing the sound with respect they will want you back. People in the business are used to being treated like shit and will bark at you because the last bunch who came through may have made them sort through all the M&Ms so they could have only the green ones. If you don’t act that way. it’s better for everyone.
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