I do not hold recent zombie movies to the same standards that I do the older flicks. In fact, all I want from a 21^st century zombie massacre is to see at least one scene that adds something to the canon. Take the 2004 remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD: there is one scene, when the armored buses are submerged in an endless sea of undead, which fully realized the scope of a zombie-consumed world. But such criteria does leave a movie like 28 DAYS LATER, a mildly amusing action flick, with no redeeming zombie movie value.

So how do the Norwegian gorefest DEAD SNOW and the Woody Harrelson vehicle ZOMBIELAND fare under the weight of my narrow-minded standards? Well, neither do that well, but at least DEAD SNOW has some truly inspired moments of over-the-top gore.

Ostensibly, DEAD SNOW is about a bunch of jerky medical students who head up to an isolated cabin on top of a snowy mountain for some vacation fun. Of course, there is a meta-element a’la SCREAM where the fatty character lays out the forthcoming undead onslaught by listing a host of movies which the action will reference. This sort of name checking usually turns me off since such ground rules are always contradicted in order to wrap up the movie and save the last girl. But in this case, the movies referenced are some of the biggies – EVIL DEAD, DEAD/ALIVE, and the FRIDAY THE 13^th contrivances – that I basically forgave the movie its stupid opening playfulness.

Once the action sets in, DEAD SNOW delivers some pretty clever situations and does not shrink from dispatching characters whose names we have actually learned. There is a heavily armed snow mobile, a charge of the garden tool brigade, a lot of intestine munching, violence to birds, and some really nice work on the Nazi zombie’s mythology. But my friend, Jason Read summed that up the best when he said, “I can believe in Zombie Nazis, in secret Nazi gold, and people using their intestines as mountain climbing ropes, but I cannot accept that anyone would want to have sex in an outhouse.” Personally, I think he was just bitter that Jenny Skavlan kept her bra on during the scene!

DEAD SNOW does, however, have scene that stands out. You will know it when it happens because it ends with a grenade blast and zombie parts flung into the air. It is a gruesome, unholy and completely effective scene.

ZOMBIELAND, on the other hand, quickly dispenses with a dangerous world filled with horrible zombies to focus more on the humorous interaction of two unlikely people who learn to love again. Or something. Maybe they were on a spring break road trip? I don’t think it matters that much. I felt the zombies were more of a family therapy trust-building exercise than as a defining plot point. Aside from the witty use of the FIGHT CLUB-esque cartoon text of survival rules sliding through and over the action, there is hardly any screen time devoted to zombies or killing them.

Aside from an absolutely brilliant death scene for a celebrity cameo , there is nothing memorable about ZOMBIELAND. I guess it was fun to watch at the time I saw it, but really, it is not a zombie movie. Harrelson mugging it up is fun to watch, but Jesse Eisenberg is a low rent Michael Cera. Emma Stone really shines as the too-many-chromosome-next-door neighbor-love-interest that buddy comedies always dredge up for the endearing loser to bag at the end. The final show down at the amusement park is so unbelievable and contrived, but by then I had abandoned all hope that ZOMBIELAND could even redeem itself.

I guess making an effective zombie movie is harder than it looks, especially when your audience is a fanboy nerd with too little to occupy his vast amounts of free time, huh?